the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
