the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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