She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize