i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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