Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
