By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
