I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
