i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
