Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
