He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
