i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
