Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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