We named our party play list daddy issues
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
