she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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