I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
