Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
