I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
