you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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