I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
