i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
