You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
