Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
