I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize