apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
