He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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