the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
