Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
home. puking in laundry basket.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Drake has all the answers
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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