i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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