Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
