Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
