i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
