There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
