"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
A+ Viking dick
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
