Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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