You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
