after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I need to stop coming to work sober
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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