I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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