Where are you?
In a non slutty way
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
