You're so nebulous sometimes
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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