Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
