Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
