Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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