Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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