Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
