mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
