I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm really into asian looking animals
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize