Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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