she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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