I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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