This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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