do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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