well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
