I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
ttyl tear gas
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Randomize
