Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
