Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize