You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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