I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
