do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
