My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
