I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
