I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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