so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
