I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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