I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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